My son has developed a bad habit… a very bad habit. He actually thinks it’s okay to tell me that he needs something for school exactly 2.2 seconds before we are about to leave the house for the day – every day. I’ve tried anticipating this by reviewing his homework with him the night before. I’ve also turned his bookbag inside out to ensure I didn’t miss any note, permission slip, or other important need-to-know kindergarten factoid that might be listed on a miniscule piece of paper. But Tank continues to forget things until the last possible minute. And now that I’ve quit my Starbucks habit, mommy is in no mood, okay?!
Yesterday morning I was going through my regular dance moves. My dance routine consists of the following (and I think I’m going to try out for “So You Think You Can Dance” or perhaps the more appropriate, “Dance Your Ass Off”): Frantic running up and down the stairs – at least two times- avoiding the cat who insists on playing chicken with me on the steps and then claws my cankles as I attempt to maneuver around him. I then follow this up with a fantastic spin move while holding the baby and simultaneously packing four bottles, her daily blanket and a change of clothes into the way-too-small diaper bag. My grand finale is, as my first posting indicates, an intricate coordination of the universally understood, “Let’s pack up the car with as much stuff in as few trips as possible.” By then I am sweating more than a blonde on Jeopardy. (Note: I am a bottle blonde, so I can say that.)
I digress…
Dateline Yesterday – Once again, I do my dance routine and we are almost out the door. I’m upstairs grabbing whatever stupid thing I forgot, when I hear Tank downstairs start in with “Ohhhhh. I forgot something Mommy!”
“What?” I yell down to him.
“I need money for school.”
Ok. Now let me stop right here and clue everyone in. My son goes to a private kindergarten. A very expensive private kindergarten. Actually, it’s the same place where my four month old daughter goes to full time daycare Monday thru Friday. So, we spend $1500 a month on daycare/kindergarten alone. I like to think my kids are getting their college education right now. In fact, I’m hoping Cricket’s first words will be “State University” or “Scholarship.” Thomas is already learning to spell those words.
So when this sweet, innocent, expensive child tells me he needs money for school, I naturally ask “What for, dear expensive child?”
“For the poor people so we can put it in a box at school.”
Without missing a beat, I yell from upstairs, “Well, we’re poor too.”
I know. I know. This bad mommy will be sending him to school with a fiver tomorrow. And I’ll confess my sins on Sunday.
But, shelling out $1500 a month for childcare has made me a very bitter woman. Can you really blame me?
You are awful! Too funny.
Don’t forget to remind Tank that he can use his “donate” money from the fabu bank Auntie Juice got him!
Haver you ever considered that the box is for you? Maybe they got the memo that you are poor also? Or perhaps Tank informed them!!!